SRG: The truth behind the duck (3/3/1998)

March 3, 1998

Today Tinsley/Mallard claims that
Hillary thinks it's a right-wing conspiracy

The duck has the day off today. Instead, Hillary Clinton is the sole focus. (Note: seeing how poorly Bruce draws the first Lady helps you understand why his protagonist is a duck instead of a person). This cartoon dances around allegations of sexual affairs by the President but at the end, Hillary (a brilliant lawyer) is able to delude herself and explains it all away as just a "right-wing conspiracy!!".

Yeah, Right. Let's review the facts.

A disgruntled, ex-whitehouse staffer decides to get even with the administration for her transfer to the Pentagon (a prestige demotion to say the least!).
Since Tripp (ironically appropriate name) no longer has access to the Whitehouse, she seeks out someone who does. But since she cannot find an active accomplice, she settles for a young intern.
After consulting with publishers, lawyers, and a former spy from the Nixon administration (You remember Nixon don't you? He is the President most infamous for secret tapings) Tripp decides to tape personal conversations with Ms. Lewinsky.
Conspire: to plan together secretly to commit an illegal act. (American Heritage Dictionary, Third Edition)
Tripp then illegally taped many conversations with Ms. Lewinsky while leading her to believe she was a friend and mentor.
Team Tripp then took the tapes, not to the public, not to a book publisher, not even to sympathetic conservative members of the media (like Tinsley or Limbaugh), but to the man investigating a bad land-investment from the 1980's! (Ken "I'll nail him no matter how much it costs"¹ Starr)
Starr decides that even though Ms. Lewinsky was still in diapers during Whitewater, this is somehow related. (Perhaps the toddler recieved hush money? Maybe someone smuggled secret documents in her Huggies?)

I'm not a lawyer, but Hillary is. Think about the definition of conspiracy and I think a reasonable person would agree that there is evidence that Tripp et al are in one.

Footnotes: 1. As of March 1997, Starr's office spent over 31 Million taxpayer dollars. The current estimate (as of January 1998) is well over 40 million! And as others have reported, he couldn't link Socks-the-cat to the missing Whitehouse mice. Talk about pressure! How would YOU like to spend years of your life and waste TENS OF MILLIONS of taxdollars and not have anything to show for it?

Well that's not completely true. Some conservatives have a position lined-up for him to teach at beautiful Pepperdine, in Malibu California. (A lovely parting gift, don't you agree?) He tried to quit the witch-hunt early and take the job, but his supporters were furious and so he returned with renewed vigor and bile.

Daniel Sherer

Index of other Mallard exposés
Dan, why are you picking on this dim-witted duck anyway?

Last Modified: Sunday, 29-Feb-2004 01:27:43 EST