Deserving

It's hard to change habits, especially if those habits started out as small indulgences many years ago and now become daily “I deserve this” rewards. After a day of careful diet and plenty of exercise, it's easy to sit down with candy or chips. After all, what can a little bit hurt? I've switched most of my snacks to fresh fruit or yogurt so it doesn't seem like indulging once in a while should be a problem. But what starts as a little special something triggers the feeling that the daily treat isn't a treat anymore, and I need another special little something to reward myself.
Easy trap to fall into. Especially because sugars and chips are everywhere. People open packages in the grocery store because they just have to eat something right then and there. Shopping carts have special cup holders so you can drink while you shop. Driving, walking, shopping, no matter where I go, it is common to see someone with food in their hand.
Which is especially odd because two thirds of Americans are overweight or clinically obese. Why is it that the fatter we get, the more compelled we are to have food close to our mouth? I remember when I was obese I would put food in my purse. It's been years since I've done that, but it still amazes me that I was so worried about getting an urge to eat, but not having anything to put in mouth.
I've maintained a body mass index of 24 for five years. BMI of 22 is ideal, and recently I decided to aim for that. Now I remember how hard it is to lose weight, but at least I know that once I lose it, I will be able to keep it off- just as long as break the connection between succeeding at something and rewarding myself with a treat. Or maybe finding something other than food to use as a reward. Something I deserve more than obsessive eating.
Nancy Sherer