Nofu

Kristie has added nutritionist to her cadre of health care givers. That might sound like a positive step in regaining control of her health, but only to anyone who hasn't looked at the sorry state of the modern nutrition cult.
Her nutritionist, who from now on I shall refer to as 'Lou,' told her to eat some odd kind of bread made out of whole grains. I was shaking my head before Kristie finished the sentence. Although I didn't intend to, I think my upper lip might have curled and puckered in an unbecoming way until she agreed that she probably couldn't swallow corn husks and grass seed held together by seaweed extract either.
I can't remember what the bread was called, but it doesn't matter. If something doesn't taste good enough to have an American name, it isn't food. There is no language in the world where 'Bulgar' is a synonym for 'num-num.' We all know what hides behind 'escargot' and 'calamari.'
Kristie told Lou outright that tofu 'was never gonna happen.' Since tofu doesn't really have a flavor of its own, I'm able to swallow it along with a beef bouillon and ketchup sauce. It's high in calcium which puts it one step above those chalky supplements that I would otherwise have to take. There's still the bitter aftertaste that tofu purveyors never talk about so I stop short of sharing my recipe.
Modern nutritionists have three tells that give them away as cultists. First, as already mentioned, is using odd sounding words for the 'food' they suggest. Next, they tell you how you can mask the flavor of gablochowdungin or lthemishth or xcyi-xcyo by mixing it in with wild rice or by adding some sweetener made from Peruvian cactus roots harvested in months that are spelled using the letter b.
And then there's their mantra, 'you'll get used to it.' Most people don't.
Which reminds me, Ryanne will eat home-made pancakes. Even though she has all the modern processed, pre-cooked foods that pack my cupboards and freezer available to answer any whim, she still prefers my glue-like mixture of flour, egg, and milk.
Lou would probably advise me to add some bran.
Nancy Sherer