Possumbly

Some people wonder what I will ever write about if strange things stop occurring around me, but not to worry, I have relatives. And lots of them are in-laws which makes it exciting in case they ever recognize themselves.
Like one particular person who, when needing something done, calls someone to do it. Like when she woke up to find the dead possum in her yard.
I've seen a lot of road-kill possums so I thought all possums were about two feet long. But no, her possum was a full four feet, maybe more but she's a small woman and that's all the farther she could gracefully move her hands apart.
Everyone knows if you find a dead possum in your jurisdiction, you have to do something to get rid of it. I've even noticed that squirrel and raccoon carcasses don't decay fast enough to ignore. So what did this relative do? She called the Humane Society to come and pick it up.
I would love to have heard that conversation, but I will just have to imagine that the person on the other end of the line was biting his/her lip to keep from laughing. No, the Humane Society didn't deal with dead possums, she was told. Why don't you try the police?
And she did!
The police came to her house. It was morning, so I suppose they didn't have bank robbers or jay walkers to catch. Unfortunately, they told her, they didn't remove possum carcasses either.
But some people have a way of expecting service, and getting it, so after being supplied with a garbage bag they scooped it up, all four to six feet of it. That was pretty nice of them, I thought, but apparently not quite good enough because they put it in her garbage can. She was not happy about that. I would say she was even possibly miffed, but I didn't ask her about it because I was biting my lip trying not to laugh.
So I figure I will always have something to write about.
Nancy Sherer